Last night, thanks to the kind invitation from Alan Findlay, I was at a Dinner at Dumbarton Football Club to raise funds for the club’s youth development programme.
I had the great delight of meeting my regular correspondent (and fellow blogger) Robert for the first time, and I also met some old friends that I hadn’t seen for a very long time, including Dave, Jim and Graeme (Jim being the co-author of the official history of the Sons - see here for ancient review). And also at the table I was sitting at I met Peter and another Alan for the first time, and I was also introduced to some players/former players, directors, the club manager etc.
The next sentence is fairly standard - I had far too much to drink and I mixed whisky and wine, and I’ve got a terrible hangover today and as soon as I finish typing this I’m going to retire to bed to watch football and snooze for the rest of the Sabbath.
It was a fantastic night - the food was excellent and the drink was copious. The conversation was amusing (and full of strange but true anecdotage, Kit Carson style) and the entertainment from the after dinner speakers was first class.
Pat Rolink was in the chair and was very funny. At one point he attracted a heckler, who was effectively silenced when Pat said, “Aw, I’m really sorry that you wurnae wi’ us the other night when we were watching Emmerdale. My 9 year old daughter turns roon an’ says “Daddy, whit’s a bawbag?”.”
Then we heard from an oriental (Burmese) Scotsman, John Htet Khin, who began his address speaking in Mandarin chinese, being interpreted by Pat. So we had a fairly lengthy volley of ‘ying-tong, ying-tong’ from Mr Khin followed by Pat’s translation “Awright troops?”
Mr Khin was also very funny - he said that he was very thrilled to be asked to address the gathering ‘particularly since I just arrived here to deliver a takeaway from the Loon Fung’
The speakers were plagued throughout by a faulty microphone a la the Wheeltappers and Shunters club, which tended to make the listening experience akin to trying to tune in to Radio Luxembourg 40 years ago.
The third speaker threw the microphone away and boldly stood on a chair and declaimed without amplification.
This speaker was introduced as ‘Billy Connolly’s favourite comedian’. !!!
Hyperbole?
No - this was Des McLean and he was absolutely fantastic. A by-product of drinking too much is that it tends to wipe your brain so that in the morning you cannot remember any of the jokes. I cannot remember much other than him pointing to one table and saying ‘every single guy at that table is wearing glasses. I thought I’d stumbled into the Vision Express Christmas party by mistake‘
He told some amusing stories about Tommy Sheridan, while drawing attention to his own passing similarity in appearance to the bold people’s champion (see Robert’s blog for photographic evidence). He’s a bit stockier than Tommy (hmm, that Tommy Sheridan’s fair putting the weight on these days) .
He told one howlingly funny, and apparently true, anecdote about being in the company of Tommy and Paul Ferris simultaneously, his mimicry of both being spot on.
He was great.
You will hear more from him.
Last night reminded me of what supporting a football club is really about. Dumbarton are going through tough times on the field (3rd bottom of the 3rd division), but all the guys (and gals) there last night are totally committed to the cause. Youth development is an important thing for the club, and last night’s dinner coincided with a 16 year old boy making his debut in the first team yesterday in the draw at Stenhousemuir. At a time when some of the nastier side of football (see Ashley Cole below) is being commented on here, it is a delight to have some faith restored.
Thanks to all for a great night.
PS - Robert also features a rather fetching photo of yours truly on his report of the same dinner.
